So there's this article making the rounds of the internet. It comes from the obviously forward thinking website Christwire.org. It's called "Is my Husband GAY?". Below are 15 signs that you're man is gay.
1. Secretive late night use of cellphones and computers
Guys, it's 10:15 right now. Kristen is fast asleep. I'm reading my twitter feed on my phone and I'm using a computer. CHECK!
2. Looks at other men in a flirtatious way
I mean, I'll hug and even kiss some of my dude friends. Let's not check this one off yet though.
3. Feigning attention in church and prayer groups
Who actually pays attention in church? CHECK!
4. Overly fastidious about his appearance and the home
I can't cop to this one. I try to look neat if I'm going out, but all told, I'm a bit of a slob.
5. Gym membership but no interest in sports
I definitely have a gym membership. I enjoy baseball, but not to a fanatical level. Beyond that, I'm not really a sports guy. CHECK!
6. Clothes that are too tight and too “trendy”
I try to keep up with fashion, but tight and trendy are not the obese man's game.
7. Strange sexual demands
No comment. My family reads this.
8. More interested in the men than the women in pornographic films
I don't even know women who are more interested in the dudes. Nope.
9. Travels frequently to big cities or Asia
I LIVE IN A BIG CITY!!!! I LOVE CITIES!!! CHECK!
10. Too many friendly young male friends
Most of my friends are friendly males, and most are under 30. CHECK!
11. Sassy, sarcastic and ironic around his friends
Are you kidding me?!?! CHECK!
12. Love of pop culture
Have you ever seen me improvise? CHECK!!
13.Extroverted about his bare chest in public
No no no no no no no.
14. Sudden heavy drinking
I'm not sure how to answer this. I don't have more than one drink very often. There are some rare occasions where I tend to go for broke on the booze, when I find myself flush with disposable income and with no obligations for the day after. Does this count? Sure. CHECK!
15. Ladies, have you dated men in the past who turned out to be gay?
I'm Kristen's first boyfriend, so we'll go no on this one.
Final tally: 8-10 depending on your interpretation. I guess I'm gay. Good thing I have those Erasure albums on my iPod.